However, these searches indicate that men are missing the point in conversations.While they’re busy looking for a killer topic or the silver conversational bullet that will make women like them, they aren’t realizing that even if they do ask some good questions, these will quickly run out.Guy 2 is able to show that he’s done some interesting things. Guy 3 has taken the girl on an emotional journey with him.
Peoples brains are also wired to remember the specific, unusual things that we hear, rather than the mundane and ordinary things.
So if you’re one of ten guys who she’s spoken to in the last week who thinks you’re cool because you went overseas, think again.
For a brilliant real life example of the importance of sharing details, disregard whatever you may think about President Obama and watch the huge amounts of details he shares in this story.
Now, try and imagine the speech if he hadn’t shared how tired he was, or how he was hoping for sunshine but it was raining, or what an ordeal it was to get to the town, or that the woman was wearing a big hat and was a private detective, or one of the million other details he provided. He’s able to do this because of sharing the seemingly inconsequential details of the story and painting a vivid picture as a result.
The same principles apply for more mundane and everyday conversations. oh and we went to restaurant X where I had the most delicious pasta I’ve had in ages. Guy 1 is boring, ordinary and clearly has nothing cool to talk about. She will have forgotten about what he said by the time he’s finished his conversation.
It was this really light spaghetti combined with a rich herb and mince sauce with just a mild kick of spice that rounded it off perfectly. The question at the end is standard, typical and boring. She’ll also have to go back and think harder about what she ate on the weekend as it’s a more unusual question than what she’d be used to.Here’s the secret: it doesn’t matter WHAT you talk about as much as HOW you talk about it.A massive part of communication and how you talk about things is conveyed through your body language, voice tone and eye contact.The little details he shares show that he is aware of his surroundings and appreciates the good things in life.The conversation will also leave her with a good vibe.Guy 1 demonstrates a complete lack of conversational ability.